This baby’s actually mastered an adorable cry face…lucky.
You know when you have one of those days where the emotions and frustration just all come spilling out?
You’ve been holding it in and keeping a strong front, but bit by bit things start chipping away at your “No big deal” demeanour and you break down and have a good old ugly cry?
That was me today.
Dear 20 year-old Tiffany,
I’m 30 years old now with a small (but growing) family, a steady career and basic necessities taken care of.
On paper it seems like everything is perfect, but in reality I think there’s something more to life than money, security, and doing “what’s right”. The other day I wondered what some of my 40+ yr old friends would tell their 30 year old self (i.e. words of wisdom for me)…but I think it’s a good idea to reflect a bit and think of the top 5 pieces of advice I’d give my 20 year old self.
Sooo….I’d be one of those kinds of people who don’t get embarrassed super easily.
I like the challenge of seeing if I can find/negotiate a discount on things. If I like someone’s purse/haircut/shoes I won’t be shy to compliment them. And if I trip on a sidewalk in front of 20 people I’ll probably say “whoopsidoodle” on the way down…then jump up and say “I’m okay!” and keep walking to my car (of course, on a pathway that makes me pass all 20 of these people) with a grin on my face……………….it’s happened.
I’m also the kind of person who loves an opportunity to let people know they matter and that I appreciate them (it’s pretty much my most favorite thing. ever.)… sounds normal enough, right?
Well this morning I had a most fantastic opportunity to show my appreciation. I seized the opportunity. And then I was poked fun of for what I did.
Lately I’ve been thinking about just how much I’ve taken for granted in the past – enjoying yummy food is pretty major right now (not trying to belabor the whole pregnancy thing but it’s kinda top of mind these days). The pre-children days where we could skip off to Niagara Falls on a whim, just ’cause we felt like it. The days where “mortgage”, “hydro bill” and “RESP contributions” were just words I knew how to spell and I could be blissfully ignorant of what they actually looked like and how much of my paycheque would go to each (to be honest, hubby does most of the bills so I’m still kinda blissfully ignorant).
You don’t tend to miss things until they’re gone…and often times it’s the mundane things (and sometimes even the annoying things) that you miss.
Here’s a list of things that I will attest to saying I probably don’t appreciate as much as I should, and I’d like to change this:
It’s 5:22am on April 10th…I hesitantly just took a look at the date of the last post I made.
Published on January 22nd.
That’s a fair amount of time that’s gone by…
My first thought is to chastise myself and say “Tiffany…you started this blog, with great intentions to write regularly…but let’s face it. You’re just not disciplined enough.”
My second thought is to say “Okay, yes I could have had more discipline but let’s take a look at what’s been going on the past 3 months…several bouts of week-long sickness through the family, several changes at work, your spouse is in their busy season and working super long hours, and you found out a month ago you’re pregnant (!) and have aggressive nausea and exhaustion that has been a tad debilitating.”
(FYI, when you’re pregnant that means you’re making a whole human being inside your body. Ya know. No big deal.)
My third thought is “I need to stop feeling bad about things and just give myself a new start.”
So that’s what I’m doing.