Daily Snapshots – Day #24

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

I am grateful for … sleep when your body needs it. Whether you have a baby waking in the night…stresses that are preventing you from falling asleep…too much to do in too little hours…or an illness that’s wearing your body down, sleep deprivation is something we usually can’t control but completely impacts how we function and react to things the following day. So when you can get the sleep your body’s telling you you need, you’re pretty darn thankful.

I am hopeful that… I recognize that that the only expectations I need to fulfill are my own. I’ve realized that everyone has different perceptions or interpretations of events, and each person builds their own assumptions or truths based on their perception…I struggle when someone views events in my life and draws truths from them that are different from mine – because I then feel there’s an expectation that goes along with it and I likely won’t meet that expectation. Actually, I assume there’s an expectation that goes with it and put that pressure on myself. And challenge myself to … set some short/medium/long term goals to get clear on the expectations I’m striving to fulfil. I also challenge myself to increase my self-awareness to and in a given situation do a mental pause and check-in to see if my feelings are based on fact or on assumptions. I think this can be tricky because you don’t always realize you’ve made an assumption…but let’s give it a go.

I enjoyed … a lovely evening with a new book club. It was so luxurious to chat with 3 wonderful, intelligent ladies, eat amazing snacks, sit by a beautiful fire, and connect. I love being a mother and watching my children grow, but in those moments where I’m with friends and  get to “just be Tiffany” (e.g. be present in conversations, actually taste the food I’m eating, learn more about people’s lives, etc.) – I feel like I’m grounding myself and opening my eyes to other ways I can learn & grow as an individual.

Previous Challenge: I am hopeful that… I continue to empower myself and recognize the good & learnings from each situation, instead of focusing on the bad. And challenge myself to … love myself unconditionally (hopefully forever and ever, but especially over the next 2 weeks as we anticipate change).

Update on Previous Challenge: Over the 2 weeks I was finishing my job I reminded myself of advice my friend Suze gave me, shortly after I decided to leave. “Don’t be a hero.” So many times I wanted to leave everything amazingly perfect and to put 200% into doing everything…and her advice helped me give myself permission to not over-extend myself, to do a great job and work hard (but not work myself silly over it), and to cherish the time I had with fantastic co-workers. By taking away the tendency to set high expectations for myself, it gave me an opportunity to love myself more and just focus on the things that truly mattered.

To My Daughters: Change is Tough, But Here’s What I’ve Learned…

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Dear J & C,

Three weeks ago I had a frank conversation with my manager. After 4 months into a new job that I loved, with people I enjoyed working with and prospects for a bright future I made the difficult decision that the job was a great fit for me and my career aspirations, but it was not the right time in my life.

There were lots of factors that came into my decision – unforeseen circumstances with the job, spouse with extremely long working hours, kids who are 1 and 3 years old…but at the crux of it all was that being in this job (combined with the above) didn’t allow me to prioritize our family time and balance first.

Racing through the day just to get up and do it all over again the next day is a common theme with all families, but the extent I felt I was tolerating my children (harsh, but true) vs. being present with my children didn’t align with my personal goals and made me re-examine my life choices.

While I made changes at the job to improve things, it became clear after the first 90 days that I would either need to invest significantly more time in the job to perform to the level of standards I hold myself to…or I would need to choose a career that allowed me the flexibility to put our family’s priorities first.

This decision was extremely difficult, but I came away with some key realizations. Realizations that took a fair amount of blood, sweat, and tears, and I want to make sure I pass them on to you. Here are a few lessons I learned (or re-learned) through this experience: Continue reading

Daily Snapshots – Day #23 (Late post from Feb 23rd)

“Be proud for what you are, rather than for what you have.”

I am grateful for … strength, for opportune timing, and for understanding & supportive people. For people who sincerely want the best for me and remind me of my limits when I’m tempted to push as much as possible. For safe travels.

I am hopeful that… I continue to empower myself and recognize the good & learnings from each situation, instead of focusing on the bad. And challenge myself to … love myself unconditionally (hopefully forever and ever, but especially over the next 2 weeks as we anticipate change).

I enjoyed … an impromptu visit with a close friend while attending an out-of-town conference. While it was 40min “out of the way”, the 1hr we caught up & supported each other was completely worth it.

Previous Challenge: I am hopeful that… I prioritize rest this upcoming weekend. And challenge myself to … focus on taking care of myself in the now, instead of focusing so much on taking care of others and pre-planning for the future (if that makes sense). That sounds kind of brutally self-centered, but everyone needs some time to rejuvenate and refresh. And let’s be honest, between work messy-ness and toddler tantrums I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed these days.

Update on Previous Challenge: Wow, I wrote that 21 days ago (3 weeks)…and I gotta say…I kinda nailed it. 1 week after I wrote that I (somewhat impromptu-ly) went on a ladies retreat/weekend. I shortened the 2.5 day trip to 1.5 days to reduce impacts on the family – but it was the perfect amount of time. I had a fantastic time and came home refreshed…and then things with the kids went a little haywire 10min in, and that “vacation glow” wore off pretty quickly…..but it was still great! 🙂 I’m also proud that I’ve made some difficult decisions over the past few days. Things have been tricky and while my nature is to grit my teeth and push on, over the past 3-4 years I’ve learned that while I think pushing on will make me feel better and more accomplished, sometimes the pushing on will just push you over. As I was reflecting on outcomes from the decision